Tomorrow I will celebrate my first Mother's Day. I've been
waiting for this moment for so long that it's almost surreal. However
today, I would like to pause and celebrate the woman who made all of
this possible: Faith's birth mother, who I will refer to as N in this
blog to protect her privacy.
Backing up a bit. We had another "first" last month that I didn't
mention in my post last week. Well actually it was a first for Randy and
I, but not for Faith. We got to meet her birth parents. It didn't dawn
on me until we were on our way to the visit that Faith already met
them. They were both there in those precious, wonderful first moments
after she was born. We could tell immediately that she recognized them,
well their voices any way, and it was beautiful.
Our friends and family who knew about the visit have been asking us how
it went. And the one word that always pops into my head to describe it
is: AMAZING! We laughed, we took photos, we exchanged letters and gifts
and we ogled over Faith and how beautiful and happy she is. This day was a gift,
one that I do not take for granted. We have friends who adopted their
daughter internationally and I know they would give anything for a
picture, a letter or anything that told them just one thing about their
daughter's birth parents. And we got to sit across from Faith's for over
an hour. Just when I think we are the luckiest people in the world,
something even more amazing happens.
We were so excited about this visit, but I'd be lying if I told you that
I wasn't out of my mind nervous as the day came closer and closer.
Would it be awkward? What if we don't know what to say? What if they want to hold
her? What if they don't? I was overwhelmed with emotion. However, the minute we met, it was
like we had known each other forever and I quickly forgot there was a social
worker "chaperoning" us. It was perfect and I'm happy to report they
both held Faith after giving Randy and I huge hugs. Faith was so happy during the whole visit
and we all smiled from ear to ear at this beautiful, happy little girl
that we all played and continue to play a role in creating. This is a
day I will remember for the rest of my life and I can't wait to share
the details with Faith one day.
We are very protective of N - and have been even before this visit. People can say very
hurtful things without meaning to be disrespectful. I think they assume
we feel the same way and have the same perspective. Things like "How
could anyone give up this beautiful baby?" or "Her birth mother must not be a very good mom". Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I
said the same kinds of things before this became my life. So I don't
get angry. Instead I take on my new mission - to educate. And I say "She
didn't give her up. She made what was probably the hardest decision of
her life (and now I know it was because she told me). She knew she
couldn't give her child the life she wanted her to have. And so she
chose another family to have that awesome privilege. She's the bravest
woman I know!
So N, Happy Mothers Day! Thank you for choosing us. I'm grateful and humbled beyond words every day!
